Some things cannot be explained. Such as, how has it been two months since I've written? I know I've wanted to write. My mind is brimful with ideas. But I have despaired of ever writing a sentence ripe with personal meaning again. Mid-October my husband was away on business for four days. On day one, … Continue reading Why Don’t You Write?

I want words to tell you what happened today, but I am numb. Not like the fat-lipped feeling I had after the dentist injected Novocaine into my mouth today. Numb like the white noise of a waterfall crashing around me. I can hear nothing else, feel nothing else, but even as I reach inward for … Continue reading Confusion on the Ground

The serenity of a late summer evening. A time when a man can sit back in a lawn chair and enjoy the stillness of his shaded yard, the quiet antics of his dog, and the distant sounds of children playing. This is it. This is what he has worked for. This is what makes worthwhile … Continue reading Out My Back Door

I was one  of those kids who couldn't fall asleep the night before the first day back to school. Was I filled with excitement as I anticipated a new teacher, a new array of classmates, and new academic challenges? Nope. I fretted and dreaded. Would that bully kid still pick on us? Would I be … Continue reading We Gots to Get Up and Organize

Our pediatrician stared at us in disbelief. "Vacation? Tomorrow?" Our baby of two months weighed eight pounds. He had doubled his birth weight, but his growth rate was too slow. He needed more calories. We had spent four weeks at home with our three other kids and our preemie. My husband, any visiting relatives, and … Continue reading Let’s Go Away for a While

A cult classic, Napoleon Dynamite, just might hold the key to unlocking most of what makes me tick. I mean "tick" in that time-bomb-steer-clear-when-she's-in-one-of-her-moods way. Last night I awoke for a 2 AM feeding and let my mind roll over the dream that had been playing out, once again, on the screen in my mind. … Continue reading Are We Human?

A lot of parenting and at-home mothering just doesn't make sense. Make a bed just to unmake it. Wash clothes just to get them dirty. Eat food just to...get hungry again. Here is next week's dirty laundry waiting to get folded and put away. I watch my kids' gerbils pursue activities that are just as … Continue reading I’m Still Running

My phone was still bleary-eyed and stumbling when it was asked to take this photo. My kitchen isn't actually this blurry. But I'm afraid I really am that hunched over. Heavy thoughts can do that to a person. I once saw a woman with a hunchback at the post office when I was four years … Continue reading Jeux Sans Frontieres

It's about 75 Fahrenheit in my room over the garage. So why in June's name am I wearing my big, fluffy robe? It's not to make me more comfy as a pillow for anyone (husband and kids are away tonight). It's to help me reach my new "set point" as my body tries to fight … Continue reading For a Pillow

The chorus of this song has been in my head a lot lately (if you want to strike up the chorus, start at 1:08, and then endure until 1:28 for the full effect). I only had to hear that song about one and a half times in my high school years to have it forever … Continue reading Everything’s Fine