My daughter glumly pouts as I prod her to eat breakfast. "I don't wanna go to school today." The words fall like freshly collected eggs. No taking them back. No missing their meaning. And I can't just leave them there like nothing happened. "You don't want to go to school?" I blandly reply, not really … Continue reading Enlarge Your World
Uncategorized
What Love Was For
I am slowly, and at times painfully, learning what it means to "hold a space" for someone. Because I am also learning that it makes all the difference in the world, I am willing to be terrible at it so I can eventually figure it out. So first--what does "holding a space" mean? Is it … Continue reading What Love Was For
Lights Are Changing Red to Green
The second half of autumn. A time of year I had learned to guard against in my adolescence if I wanted to arrive at the holidays with any peace, gratitude, or love in my heart. Fifteen years ago tonight, I would also become grateful to arrive at the holidays alive, with only bruises remaining from … Continue reading Lights Are Changing Red to Green
I Don’t Belong to You
I listened to a podcast about accessing one's creativity by none other than Jody Moore. Y'all are thinking that by now Jody ought to be paying me for mentioning her so often. I promise I am not getting paid. I represent only me when I say that you must listen to her. Which you can … Continue reading I Don’t Belong to You
Wearing Thin
[I started this on Halloween and was too scared to share. In case it kills me, Day of the Dead seems a lot more appropriate.] Warning: Elissa can't handle much for at least six more days and might say ugly things regarding suicide and periods. I just spent an hour reading the PMDD … Continue reading Wearing Thin
To Go Unnoticed
I have always had a bit of fear about receptionists and secretaries giving me the Roz lecture for being late or forgetting to turn in my paperwork. Now I have that fear with my children as well. I just want to go unnoticed when I arrive late. I loved when absence lines for school were … Continue reading To Go Unnoticed
Any Way the Wind Blows
If you ever wonder what skunk mixed with mildew and urine smells like, come driving through our beautiful agricultural countryside. I have no image because it cannot convey odor. All I know is that Industrial Hemp is our new cash crop (the new hazelnut, which at least smells amazing as a drink add-on), and it … Continue reading Any Way the Wind Blows
I Face the Pain
I adopted a Rubik's cube the summer after second grade from my cousins. I think they were downsizing their toy supply. I had heard of these challenging puzzles, and because I enjoyed proving that I could do what others saw as challenging, I knew this little revolving maze was made just for me. I brought … Continue reading I Face the Pain
Just Scared
Recorded November 21, 2021. You may note some minor differences between this and the original post. I awake too early. Monday. School. Getting kids ready. A child who is rail-thin and won't eat. The sick dread of anxiety begins churning right in that spot where the fist goes for the Heimlich. I swear I had … Continue reading Just Scared
Words to Make a Day for You
A Parable of Sorts Somewhere beyond the reaches of any map is an island full of solutions to my present predicaments. It is named Isle of Blissful Knowledge. I will have both the awareness of all there is to know about a problem, and I will be joyfully employing the best answer. It is a … Continue reading Words to Make a Day for You
the well-rested mother 