A Parable of Sorts

Somewhere beyond the reaches of any map is an island full of solutions to my present predicaments. It is named Isle of Blissful Knowledge. I will have both the awareness of all there is to know about a problem, and I will be joyfully employing the best answer. It is a vibrant, dynamic place where everyone is growing and progressing because the impediments have at last been thwarted.

No more deliberating over the risk–benefit ratio of medicating for ADHD symptoms. No more wondering if my son is getting all the resources he needs for accessing his education. No more impulsive, abrupt behavior (from me or him). Just a luxury vacation without food poisoning, motion sickness, or sunburn. A perfect day, golden and true .

So I show up at the check-in desk and ask for the Platinum Package. I unfold its contents and find a towel. I go back to the desk and say, “Something is wrong. I am a Platinum member and someone gave me an over-sized bar mop to fix all my problems. The attendant laughs at their slight mistake, reads the information on their computer screen more closely, and points toward the ocean.

“Did you arrive by water?”

I balk at the question. “Well, I should think not. I came in a chartered helicopter. I wanted to get here as quickly as possible, maybe even enjoy the ride.”

“Oh, then you should have ordered the Pauper’s Package. We reserve those ‘over-sized bar mops’ for the patrons who found their answers on the swim over here.”

Flabbergasted, I sputter, “The swim over here?! I don’t swim!”

“Well, neither did these people when they started. But somehow they figured it out, and I’m sure you can too.”

[The song I used for my title is one I used to sing to my first two babes. I wept with the fervent hope that I really could make a beautiful day for them. I hope I can let go of all the thoughts weighing me down so that we can greet each day with that same excitement again.]

Bonus Round: Limerick No. 1

Ode to the Non-Cathode

There once was a flatscreen TV

That should have been placed in its box

But my man left it out

And has cause now to pout

For glass doesn’t mix with thrown blocks