I am sickened, hurt, angry, but trying to find perspective. A former member of my faith took advantage of a sensitive topic, a real event, and his familiarity with church practices and policies to create an elaborate hoax about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its problematic history in regards to race.

The link to his fabricated account of President Nelson apologizing isn’t working, but now that I know the words are a masterful manipulation of the desire of the hearts of so many good, honest, kind people throughout the world, I don’t wish to honor his words with my online viewing.

I found out because I though it was so strange that my like-minded friends and family were not rejoicing. I wondered why the referred to news release was not on the Church’s website. So I began to google “LDS apology” and it immediately suggested “hoax.”

I then read what I can only assume is the truth in this news article. And this is after I had already hit “Reply All” to my grandmother’s friends and family, who had sent me the link via an aunt. Here I am exulting:

Amen! What a wonderful day in the history of the Lord’s kingdom on earth. There is nothing so healing as having wounds acknowledged, hurts attended to properly, and wrongs openly confessed so that the true adversary (not simply our minds, our culture, our past; but pride, willful ignorance, and bigotry) can be viewed in the light of day instead of the nebulous shadows of blame, speculation, and confusion. I’m disappointed the link isn’t working. I read the whole thing earlier. Is it getting too many visitors all at once?
I feel affirmed that the truth of the Gospel in its purity has been underscored today: “Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” Other reactions?

I had planned to write about how wonderfully perfect this moment felt. Like being pregnant, nearing or passing the due date and beginning to think that even though the birth is inevitable, it feels like it will never happen. When it does happen, you are so grateful, you don’t wonder why the timing was today instead of last week, and you are just so relieved that “someday” has finally happened. But now I feel like the one person who showed up to the baby shower because I didn’t get the news that the baby had died the night before. But if there is no discussion about this, it will be like waking up after what should have been your baby’s delivery to be told, “Baby? What baby? You were never pregnant.”

Someday needs to be now. We need to address the wounds and hurts of the past because they transcend the generations. Even if that is not the approach the Church takes, it can be an approach we, as brothers and sisters, parents and children, friends and neighbors take. The Lord can use our worst moments to help bring about his wise purposes, and so can we.