A quiet fury steadily grows inside me

The questions, the blame, the finality of failure

I try to unravel roots steeped in decay,

The proof that others have tried this before.

 

Then wrapping their stranglehold

‘Round my last hope,

The roots, histories still untold,

Silence even the joy of new birth.

 

In circles my mind seeks a solution to keep

All the beauty from yielding to anger, a poison,

It tires me and dries up tears that won’t come

Life, a broken record, spinning in infinity.

 

“The answers are simple once you can find them;

It’s the getting there that is the problem.”

Except that I am there, and I’ve been here

And the answers are solid but move like a fluid.

 

They run through my fingers

Mock my desperation and thirst

No quenching sensation greets

Lips parched by grist.

 

Each grain falls on me in unending succession

Dropping its weight like the sentence ahead

If time keeps on slipping away like rainwater,

I soon will drown in the regret and the dread.

 

The time is now lost

It is squandered by fear

That I never will find

What has always been here

 

I wanted answers that might never come

I sought peace ‘midst chaos and found no reprieve

If this is normal, I don’t want anymore

Or is this just the ADHD?