A quiet fury steadily grows inside me
The questions, the blame, the finality of failure
I try to unravel roots steeped in decay,
The proof that others have tried this before.
Then wrapping their stranglehold
‘Round my last hope,
The roots, histories still untold,
Silence even the joy of new birth.
In circles my mind seeks a solution to keep
All the beauty from yielding to anger, a poison,
It tires me and dries up tears that won’t come
Life, a broken record, spinning in infinity.
“The answers are simple once you can find them;
It’s the getting there that is the problem.”
Except that I am there, and I’ve been here
And the answers are solid but move like a fluid.
They run through my fingers
Mock my desperation and thirst
No quenching sensation greets
Lips parched by grist.
Each grain falls on me in unending succession
Dropping its weight like the sentence ahead
If time keeps on slipping away like rainwater,
I soon will drown in the regret and the dread.
The time is now lost
It is squandered by fear
That I never will find
What has always been here
I wanted answers that might never come
I sought peace ‘midst chaos and found no reprieve
If this is normal, I don’t want anymore
Or is this just the ADHD?